February Air
by amberpire
Summary: You're terrible at sports - God forbid someone hand you a bat or put you on skates or something - but if Alice was a sport, you would be an all-star. ;Bella/Alice;


**February Air**

You always forget to bring a jacket.

But it feels okay here, without a jacket. You think maybe it's good to be cold here because it reminds you of her and you like that. You like that a lot. It's certainly not her arms around your waist and it's certainly not her breath fanning across your face and it's certainly not _her_, but you think that you can make do with this because it's all you have right now.

Maybe you didn't even forget it the jacket, maybe you didn't bring it because you _wanted _to be cold. You did this on purpose.

There's no snow, but it feels like there should be. You're sitting in the middle of the meadow with your legs crossed and your eyes closed and you're not even rubbing your arms for warmth because you don't want it. You want this mirage of Alice holding you until she gets back. She's always gone for so long and you never know what to do with yourself. People call you too dependent or too obsessive and maybe that's true, but you don't care at this point. What are you going to do; try to convince people that Alice_ isn't_ your everything?

What a silly thing to do.

You've come to terms with the fact that when Alice isn't here, neither are you, and until you see her again you can't function properly. It's like you're on autopilot when she's gone. You hate that some people think you've become less of a person or less of an independent but this isn't the kind of love where two people stand on their own and interact, this is the kind of love where two people _are _one in the same and they need to be together all the time or it's just empty and hardly bearable. You don't mind being an extension of Alice. You actually quite enjoy it.

She said they would be back Monday but today's Sunday and twenty-four hours seems like a year, especially since they left Thursday afternoon. You inhale the February breeze and shiver and think of her slipping away from you with a kiss on your neck to climb into the car. They needed to hunt and you understood that because Alice's eyes were becoming less and less golden every day. Emmett had been behind her shaking his head and mumbling about how you and Alice are 'too in love' and you kind of liked the sound of that.

You know her face like the back of your hand. More than that, you know her face better than you've know anything. If you could be an expert at anything, it would be Alice. You're not particularly good at much, really - you've never been a drawer or a writer or anything - but you've always been good at Alice. You've always been good at knowing what to say and moving in sync with her and becoming familiar with every part of her body. You're terrible at sports - God forbid someone hand you a bat or put you on skates or something - but if Alice was a sport, you would be an all-star.

You know this place, too, like the back of your hand. This place is the best to come to when you need her here and she's not or when you want to feel her frozen skin and you can't. The grass is dead right now, tinging brown and scraggly on your hands. It's surrounded by thick, tall trees with arms like spider legs and really, they're kind of scary, but you like to think that those trees are people trying to hurt you, but they can't get you here because this is where Alice is. Alice will save you from anything.

Your pocket suddenly explodes and vibrations run down your leg. You snap your eyes open and squint against the sun behind the thick clouds, digging into you jeans pocket. You drop the phone twice before you manage to flip it open and press it to your ear. You don't bother checking who it is. You already know.

"Alice." You say it right away because, honestly, if you had the choice, it would be the only word in your vocabulary that had any kind of importance.

"Hey, Bella."

You can hear the smile in her voice and automatically you're smiling too, holding the phone with both hands and pressing it as hard as you can against your ear as if by doing so you'll be able to melt into her voice. "How are you? Are things okay?"

"I'm fine, everyone's fine. We're coming home early."

You gasp and you're all but squirming with glee because it feels like a decade since you've seen her last. Your weekend has been empty and monotonous since she left. "Really? When? Tonight?"

"I think a little sooner than that."

You feel her before anything else, her breath on the shell of your ear. The phone is flipped closed and tossed on the ground and you're twisting around but before you can she's already on top of you, pressing you to the meadow's floor. You can't even take the time to appreciate her face because her lips are on the curve of your neck and you're much more concerned with that than much else. Her hands are slipping under your back and pulling you up until your hips meet hers and your breathing is ragged and heavy. You could experience this a hundred times a day and you would still be trembling and without rational thought.

"Where's your jacket? Aren't you freezing?" Her hands move from your hips and they're on your arms but that only chills you more. You just shake your head because this is exactly the cold you were looking for. "I missed you," she says against your neck and she's freezing cold on top of you. She's the February air condensed into a person and finally, you don't have to pretend the wind is her anymore. "I think I might start bringing you with us. I mean, we won't feed with you around. I can bring you a tent or something - "

"You might as well," you interrupt, your hands around her waist and trying to pull her as close to yourself as you can. "Let me watch, I mean. If I'm going to be a vampire, I need to get used to it anyway." Honestly, the thought of feeding on forest animals doesn't bother you too much. Sure, the blood will be hard to adjust to, but it's a price you're more than willing to pay for an eternity with Alice.

Eternity. It's impossible to wrap your mind around, but you like the concept.

She sighs and finally pulls back, legs on either side of your waist and you look up at her. It doesn't matter how often you look at her or if you spend eternity with her or not, she's always going to be the most beautiful person you're ever going to lay eyes on. Her features are dainty and pixie-like, her skin is smooth and pale and you can't help but raise your hand and cup her cheek in it. Her eyes are bright golden now, shining down at you despite the slight frown on her lips. You brush your thumb over them. They part with a rush of cold breath.

"When do you want to ... ?"

"As soon as you think I should." You prop yourself on your elbows and Alice immediately tangles her hands in the back of your head. She sighs and her eyes fall. Even her eyelashes are gorgeous. You're both silent for a while and you know this topic makes Alice all nervous, but it's a necessary evil if the two of you want what you desperately need; each other. "After we graduate? That way, Charlie will think I'm at college when I'm really adjusting to the change at your house."

"You make it sound easy." She looks up at you again and her eyes are so sad you almost drop it but you can't.

"I know it's not easy. I know it hurts. I know it's hard." You bite your lip and fall back against the meadow floor again. She follows you, rolling on her side with your legs tangled in the grass with hers and her cheek is on your shoulder with her hands in the dip of your back. "It's worth it."

"You're the one making all of the sacrifices," she says with her lips moving against you.

"That's okay." You mean it. It is okay. Anything is okay if you can spend every day for the rest of how long with Alice.

"I feel like I'm cheating you."

"Why? This is what I want, Alice. I want you, and if becoming a vampire is what I have to do in order to get it," you shrug and turn so your lips are on her temple. "Then that's what I have to do."

You feel her smile against your neck and you kiss her cheek. You lay in the meadow you're not sure how long, but you don't mind because time doesn't have much substance here. With the combination of Alice's skin and the chilled wind, you're almost numb, but you don't mind. You would choose freezing to death than a fire any day, if that death meant forever in Alice's arms.

* * *

This fic was inspired by the song "February Air" by Lights and its lyrics.  
I do not own Twilight.

**Please leave reviews!**


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